This winter season has been incredibly stressful. My house has been in boxes since before Samhain- we were supposed to move but the date keeps getting pushed out. I feel like I’ve been in transition, and doing personal healing work for such a long time, and I have been experiencing depression/loss of energy with it. I can feel that Hekate is moving with me through these shadows, but it’s weird to basically do nothing except self-care and listening for the Solstice. No ritual. Just… being. It feels like she’s saying “this is to clean the slate, next year will be much different.”
The thing about the Yuletide season and the Winter Solstice is that it is truly a time of death. I’m feeling that this year more than ever. It’s also a time of rebirth and I can tell there’s something on the other side of what I’m experiencing just waiting for its time. But its time is not yet here, and I’m tired from the hard healing work I’ve done with Hekate over the past year and from the difficult lessons and the setbacks that have come along.
I felt like a failure for not having anything grand planned for the Solstice. No elaborate or simple ritual. I didn’t even decorate. I would hear other witches talk about their Solstice ritual plans and think to myself, “well it’s a win right now just that I’m showering every day, so, is there still space for me here?”
Of course there is.
My old traditions died this year when I didn’t uphold them. This is in fact a time of wiping the slate clean. I am honoring Hekate and the other spirits this season by honoring myself. I’m also honoring them by filling my altar with molasses cookies and other treats my mom made for the holidays.
This simple gift felt like a letdown to the spirits, since I didn’t make the cookies myself, since I’m not doing more. Giving thanks and making a small offering isn’t a grand enough gesture.
Then I heard the spirits say, “oh but we love molasses cookies.”